Everyone thinks they know how to market a business. The same old advice gets recycled: build a loyal customer base, focus on branding, and stay professional. It all sounds reasonable, but most of it falls flat when you need real attention.
People don’t talk about brands that follow the rules; they talk about the ones that break them. Spend just the next two minutes reading this, and you might walk away seeing things completely differently.
The Recess Revolution: Make Your Brand the Cool Kid
Selling your business like a schoolyard showdown? That’s nonsense. Popularity is the least important thing. You should focus on making people obsessed instead. Nobody remembers the kid who was just "well-liked"—they remember the one who pulled off the best pranks and started the most ridiculous trends.
Start rumors about your business, but make them absurd.
People love gossip, especially when it's weird enough to sound fake but intriguing enough to share. Tell people your coffee shop was built on an ancient wizard's burial ground.
Claim your tech startup's founder has never worn socks and believes shoes are a government conspiracy. Whisper that your brand mascot once out-ate a competitive eater in a hot dog contest.
Dare your customers to try something outrageous.
The playground was full of dares, and somehow, that made everything irresistible. Give customers ridiculous challenges, like eating your spiciest menu item while reciting the alphabet backwards.
Offer a discount to anyone who wears a full clown costume to your store. Let people spin a wheel of absurd tasks to get a mystery prize.
Turn your advertising into a game of Telephone.
One kid whispers something, and by the time it reaches the end, the whole thing is warped beyond recognition. Make that happen with your brand. Start a cryptic, half-finished message on social media and let people finish it.
Release bizarre, out-of-context ads that only make sense when stitched together. Reward people who track down and share every weird piece.
Encourage cheating—but in a fun way.
Kids love bending the rules to win, and if you make that part of your business, they’ll get hooked. Hide “cheat codes” in your website that unlock secret deals. Create a secret menu only accessible through a code phrase.
Let customers “bribe” you with jokes or memes for small perks.
1000+ ChatGPT Prompts for Affiliate Marketing
Lunchroom Politics: Make Your Brand the Most Popular Table
Popularity in school didn’t come from being polite and following the rules. It came from doing something wild enough to get noticed. Businesses that try too hard to be polished and professional end up ignored. The ones that pull ridiculous stunts? Those get remembered.
Invent a fake rival and stage a public feud.
People love drama, especially when they don’t know if it’s real or not. Create a fictional enemy brand and have heated, playful exchanges online.
Challenge them to ridiculous competitions, like who makes the worst pizza on purpose. Declare their mascot your nemesis and demand a public showdown.
Bribe people with ridiculous currency.
Kids would trade anything for something shiny or rare. Make your own absurd currency for promotions. Accept Monopoly money one day a year for discounts. Let people pay with outdated memes. Trade free products for the worst drawings of your company logo.
Host a cafeteria food fight—just not with food.
Nobody forgets a good food fight, but no one wants to clean it up. Throw a virtual “fight” where customers battle with funny reviews, weird photo edits, or outrageous product suggestions. Give out awards for the most unhinged submissions.
Make your brand the “class clown.”
Being serious all the time is exhausting, and people love brands that don’t take themselves too seriously.
Post fake employee write-ups for “crimes” like stealing the office goldfish. Make your official corporate policy “More naps, fewer spreadsheets.” Change your social media bio to something like “Regretfully still in business.”
Gym Class Chaos: Turn Business Into a Competitive Sport
Nothing fired kids up like an overly aggressive game of dodgeball. Turning business into a competitive sport makes everything feel like a battle worth watching. People don’t just like winning—they like watching others try (and fail) in ridiculous ways.
Host ridiculous head-to-head competitions with your customers.
Let customers challenge your staff to arm-wrestling matches, trivia battles, or staring contests. Offer discounts if they win, but let employees cheat outrageously just to make it funnier.
Create a leaderboard for your most ridiculous customers.
Keep track of people who do the weirdest things with your brand. Who has visited the most days in a row? Who has ordered the strangest product combinations?
Who has left the worst review that was still somehow positive? Reward them with bizarre titles like "Lord of Questionable Life Choices."
Turn returns into an Olympic event.
If someone wants to return something, make them compete for it. Have them solve a puzzle, answer a riddle, or perform an interpretive dance. If they play along, give them a full refund plus a ridiculous trophy for their effort.
Make your products “harder to earn” just for fun.
Some things are too easy to buy. Make customers “qualify” for premium items by answering nonsensical trivia or proving they can balance something on their head for 10 seconds. Give VIP status to people who take on bizarre challenges, like writing a haiku about their favorite purchase.
Detention Tactics: Turn Rule-Breaking Into a Marketing Strategy
Nobody wanted detention, but let’s be honest—some kids kind of deserved it in the best way possible. Brands that bend the rules, break traditions, and throw in some chaos make people pay attention. The safe route is boring. The fun route involves a few well-placed pranks.
Make your “worst” product into a must-have.
Schools had that one terrible lunch nobody wanted, and somehow, that made it legendary. Introduce a deliberately awful product—like a milkshake flavor that sounds terrible but secretly tastes amazing. Market your “worst” product as an initiation test for true fans.
Get “banned” from something just for the attention.
If a school banned something, kids wanted it more. Announce that your product is “too wild” for some made-up reason. Pretend a fictional committee has condemned your business for “excessive fun.” Act like your marketing stunt is getting shut down by imaginary forces.
Offer a ridiculous “punishment” for customers who break fake rules.
Schools punished minor rule-breaking with pointless tasks. Do the same thing in a fun way. Make customers “write lines” by tweeting your slogan 50 times to earn a reward. Give discounts to anyone caught breaking your most absurd made-up policy, like “no buying coffee while wearing yellow.”
Turn bad reviews into comedy.
Nothing sticks like a savage teacher comeback, and businesses that play along with negative feedback get attention. Print your funniest bad reviews on T-shirts and sell them. Post dramatic readings of them online. Offer a discount to anyone who writes an intentionally over-the-top complaint in old-timey language.
Graduation Day: Win by Refusing to Grow Up
Growing up meant letting go of the best parts of school—the ridiculous bets, the dumb competitions, the prank wars. The best businesses don’t grow up. They keep the nonsense alive.
Taking risks, breaking rules, and making people laugh gets customers invested in ways no serious marketing plan ever will. Playing the business game like a schoolyard brawl? That gets people talking, watching, and waiting for what happens next.
