Workaholism - a tendency to sacrifice physical, psychological, and emotional well-being for one’s career - is on the rise. Worse yet, it’s a condition that’s widely accepted, even lauded, in modern-day society. If you’re suffering from it, you need to seek help.
We all know someone who works too much. They bail on plans because they’re staying late at the office, they don’t date, they don’t go out, and they don’t have fun.
They just keep working, heedless of the fact that it’s slowly destroying them.
Maybe you’re one such person yourself, maybe you read the paragraph above and shifted uncomfortably in your seat or maybe...you are the workaholic.
You can become addicted to your career just like you can become addicted to anything else. Yet in many ways, overcoming an addiction to your job is even more difficult than overcoming something more traditional, like gambling or alcohol. There are support networks in place for those kinds of addicts.
Yet when it comes to workaholism, no one seems willing to accept how serious and debilitating it can be. Perhaps it’s because it can be difficult to differentiate between someone who’s a workaholic and someone who simply loves their job. The line, as you might expect, is often extremely blurred.
Let’s talk about that first.
What Workaholism Is (And Isn’t)
Some people seem like machines, frequently putting in more hours than anyone thought humanly possible. Maybe you’re one such dynamo. If so, take a step back and ask yourself how you engage with your job.
Do you feel compelled to work for reasons beyond personal fulfillment? Do you constantly think about work when you aren’t working, or feel guilty or anxious when you take even a little time off? Perhaps you sacrifice your well-being to put in more hours at the office?
This could take the form of staying up late to finish a project, even though you need to be up at 6 a.m. the next morning. It could involve ignoring friends and family because you’re too focused on the office.
When you have a healthy relationship with your job, you work because you’re passionate about it, or, at the very least, because you know you need money to survive. You know how to disengage from the workplace when you need downtime. You have hobbies, you maintain friendships, and you care about your health.
“I define a workaholic as a work-obsessed individual who gradually becomes emotionally crippled and addicted to power and control in a compulsive drive to gain approval and public recognition of success,” writes Doctor Barabra Killinger, a pioneer in studying workaholism.
“These driven men and women live a Gerbil-wheel, adrenalin-pumping existence rushing from plan A to B, narrowly-fixated on some ambitious goal or accomplishment. Eventually, nothing or no one else really matters,” she writes.
She goes on to identify a few primary types of workaholics, each with their own driving motivation.
- Pleasers desperately want to be liked. They will do everything in their power to gain admiration from the people around them, often at their own detriment. They often ignore their own faults and tend towards passive-aggressive behavior.
- Controllers, as the name suggests, always want to be in control of their surroundings. Arrogant, intense, and driven, they can also be sociable when need be. They often have few intimate friendships.
- Narcissistic Controllers are a step up from controllers. Their way is the only right way in their eyes, and they care little about how their actions harm others, so long as it gets them ahead. At the same time, they are vibrant, energetic, competent, and competitive.
I’m A Workaholic. What Now?
Power. Control. Fulfillment. These are the driving force behind every workaholic. They pour everything into the workplace because there’s something fundamental missing in their personal life because they’re desperately grasping at a feeling they cannot attain elsewhere.
Yet few workaholics ever seek treatment because as noted by Doctor Killinger, they’re almost always in a perpetual state of denial.
The fact that you’re reading this article and considering that you may have a problem means you’ve already taken the first step. The good news is that’s the most difficult one. From here, there’s nowhere to go but up.
First things first, talk with your colleagues and your boss. Explain you need some more personal time, and that you need to focus a bit more on your personal life. Make it clear that you’re still going to be present, engaged, and hard-working.
You need to do so with a more manageable schedule. Assuming you aren’t in a toxic workplace, they’ll work with you. Chances are, they’ve noticed your workaholism as well.
From there, start thinking about where you want to go in the long-term. Who do you want to be? What do you want to achieve? They’re scary thoughts, especially for someone focused on nothing but work for so long but they’re also necessary.
Establish a clear boundary between work time and personal time. Have set hours each day where you’ll be completely disengaged from the workplace. Turn off your phone and don’t check your email. Instead, focus on yourself.
Take up a hobby. Start nurturing the friendships and relationships you spent so much time neglecting because of your job and take care of your personal health.
Exercise. Eat properly. Sleep regularly. Start taking breaks when you need them, rather than not at all.
And most importantly, speak to a therapist. Your workaholism is very likely a symptom of some deeper psychological struggle. That isn’t something you need to face alone. It’s not something you should face alone.
Work isn’t always enjoyable. Even those of us who love our jobs occasionally have days where we’d rather be doing something else. But if every day feels like that and you feel yourself slipping away from reality because all you do is work?
That means you need to work less, as much as it might pain you to do so.
Author Bio: Brad Wayland
Brad is the Chief Strategy Officer at BlueCotton, a site with high-quality, easy-to-design custom t-shirts.
